The Boston Flowers are an Internet League Blaseball team in the Low division of the Wild League. They have been a part of ILB since Season 1. The Flowers were previously in the Chaotic Good division of the Good League.
- 1 Roster
- 2 Former Players
- 3 Season Results
- 4 Notable Events
- 5 History
- 6 Stadium
- 7 Team Relationships
- 8 Fan Culture
- 9 Staff
- 10 Fan Art
- 11 References
- Inez Owens
- Margarito Nava
- Nic Winkler
- Castillo Turner
- Jacob Haynes
- Alaynabella Hollywood
- Hiroto Cerna
- Gloria Bugsnax
- Moses Mason
- Glabe Moon
- Scores Baserunner
- Hurley Pacheco (Season 2, Day 76; replaced by Nic Winkler)
- Bryanayah Chang (Season 3, Day 5; replaced by Hotbox Sato)
- Jorge Ito (Season 3, Day 47; replaced by Caligula Lotus)
- Isaac Rubberman (Season 3, Day 82; replaced by Vito Kravitz)
- Matheo Carpenter (Season 4, Day 59; replaced by Gloria Bugsnax)
- Morrow Doyle (Season 4, Day 98; replaced by Inez Owens)
- Caligula Lotus (Season 6, Day 31; replaced by Hiroto Cerna)
- Vito Kravitz (Season 4, Day 54; replaced by Moses Mason)
- Hotbox Sato (Season 4, Day 58; replaced by Morrow Doyle)
- Beck Whitney (Season 6, Day 80; replaced by Hahn Fox)
Trades and Blessings
- The Flowers held a 53-46 record at the end of Season 1, second-best in their division and fourth-best in their subleague.
- The Flowers won against the Yellowstone Magic in the quarterfinals.
- The Flowers lost against the Chicago Firefighters in the semifinals, ending their post-season run.
- The Flowers received no blessings at the end of Season 1, and were not the target of any decrees. Their lineup remained intact, as well.
- The Flowers held a 51-48 record at the end of Season 2, the best in their division.
- The Flowers won 3-2 against the Chicago Firefighters in the quarterfinals.
- The Flowers lost 3-0 against the Charleston Shoe Thieves in the semifinals, ending their post-season run.
- The Flowers received no blessings at the end of Season 2, and were not the target of any decrees. Their lineup remained intact, as well.
- The Flowers held a 42-57 record at the end of Season 3, the worst in their division.
- The Flowers did not advance to the postseason.
- The Flowers received no blessings at the end of Season 3, and were not the target of any decrees. Their lineup remained intact, as well.
- The Flowers held a 44-55 record at the end of Season 4, tied with the Hawai'i Fridays for 4th place in the Chaotic Good division.
- The Flowers did not advance to the postseason.
- The Alternate Reality decree affected Dunn Keyes and Inez Owens.
- The Flowers received the Getting in Their Heads (Literally) blessing, which impaired the maximum vibes of their Chaotic Good division opponents by 7%.
- The Flowers received the Exploratory Surgeries blessing, which their worst pitchers' stats. Chambers Simmons went from zero stars to ★½ , and Dunn Keyes went from ★½ to ★ .
- The Flowers held a 40-59 record at the end of Season 5, and finished last in the Chaotic Good division.
- The Flowers did not advance to the postseason.
- The High Filter decree moved the Flowers to the Low division of the Wild League and gave them the Blood Winner modification.
- The Flowers were not affected by any blessings.
- The Flowers held a 51-48 record at the end of Season 6 (their first winning season since Season 2), and were the winners of the WIld Low division.
- The Flowers advanced to the postseason on the strength of their Divine Favor over the New York Millennials, and were defeated in the Round of 8 by the Baltimore Crabs, 3 games to 0.
- The Flowers received the Sharing Signs blessing, which improved the Wild Low's hitting rating by 10% and impaired their pitching by -5%.
- The Flowers were subjected to the Move the Mounds Closer blessing, which improved the Wild Low's pitching by 10% and impaired their hitting rating by -5%.
- Although they won the WIld Low division, they did not receive any stars from Blood Winner due to the postponement of the Bloodbath in Season 6.
- The Flowers held a 28-71 record at the end of Season 7, and finished last in the Wild Low division.
- The Flowers did not advance to the postseason.
- The Flowers entered Enhanced Party Time on Day 76, breaking the Regular Season Speedrun record set by the Unlimited Tacos in Season 5.
- The New Recruit blessing added a 10th player, Glabe Moon, to the Flowers' lineup.
- The Jelly Legs blessing randomized the baserunning stats of the Flowers' three worst baserunners.
- The Flowers held a 52-47 record at the end of Season 7, and finished third in the Wild Low division.
- The Flowers advanced to the postseason as the 4th seed in the Wild league, and were defeated in the Round of 8 by the Baltimore Crabs, 3 games to 0. This marks six straight postseason losses to the Crabs.
- The Astroturf blessing changed all Flowers players' blood type to Grass and granted the Flowers the Growth modification.
- The Flowers won the Shame Bubble blessing, protecting all of Wild Low from Targeted Shame. They were subjected to the Fifth Base.
- The Flowers also benefitted from the Hellmouth Sunbeams winning the Mutually Arising blessing, which improved the overall rating of each team in the Wild Low division by 2%.
- The New Recruit blessing added a 11th player, Scores Baserunner, to the Flowers' lineup.
- The Flowers were affected by the Unlimited Tacos winning the Sharing Signs blessing, which improved Wild Low's hitting rating by 10% and impaired their pitching rating by -5%.
- The Flowers also benefitted from the Hellmouth Sunbeams winning the Divisional Walk in the Park blessing, which caused every team in Wild Low to gain the Walk in the Park modification.
- The Flowers were assigned the Arcana III The Empress.
- Season 4, Day 98: Flowers batter Morrow Doyle was incinerated by a Rogue Umpire. Doyle was facing Lee Davenport of the Unlimited Tacos, the same pitcher they were facing when they hit the Grand Unslam as a member of the Charleston Shoe Thieves. Doyle was replaced with Inez Owens.
- Season 4, Day 99: The Flowers faced the Unlimited Tacos in the first game ever to cross the one hour time limit, triggering Spillover. The game ended 65 minutes in, after 22 scoreless innings and tied 1-1 for the last 2 innings. In the bottom of the 24th, Inez Owens, the replacement for Morrow Doyle (who had been incinerated in the previous game), was driven in by a Nic Winkler double, beginning a Shame period for the Tacos. The Flowers loaded the bases for player/coach Beck Whitney, who took hit a ground out to NaN, ending the game 2-1 Flowers. This is the current longest game in blaseball history, replacing a 21-inning game between the Flowers and the Dallas Steaks on day 21 of Season 4.
- Season 6, Day 99: Heading into Day 98, the New York Millennials (51-46) led the Flowers (49-48) by two games for the last playoff spot. After a Flowers win on Day 98 and back-to-back losses on Days 98 and 99 for the Millennials, Boston's fate would be decided by their final game against the Breckenridge Jazz Hands. The Flowers quickly fell behind 5-0, and the Jazz Hands repeatedly scored in response to early Flowers' rallies. Entering the bottom of the 8th inning, the Flowers trailed 11-5; with two runners on, Gloria Bugsnax hit a three-run homer to cut the deficit in half. In the bottom of the 9th, an RBI single from Castillo Turner and a 2-run double from newly-acquired Hahn Fox tied the game at 11. Finally, in the bottom of the 10th inning, with Bugsnax on first, Moses Mason hit a two-run home run; in doing so, the Flowers simultaneously shamed the Jazz Hands, eliminated the Millennials from playoff contention, and clinched the final playoff spot. This home run would later become known as The Day 99 Miracle, although the name has also been attributed to the rare individual respective achievements of Nic Winkler and Jacob Haynes both stealing bases in the game.
- Season 8, Day 61: In a game against the New York Millennials, Mills pitcher Patty Fox pitched a perfect game against the Flowers, preventing any Flowers from reaching base. This would be the first perfect game in recorded Blaseball history, resulting in the subsequent discovery of the 9-blood Blagonball. When asked, the Flowers were reported to just be happy to be included.
| COMMUNITY LORE|
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Know more about the Flowers' history? Add it at Boston Flowers/History!
The Boston Flowers hail from Boston, Massachussetts, a shattered city full of dimensional distortion and really weird plants. Until the end of Season 2, the Flowers made their home at Flenway Plark. During the postseason of Season 2, The Flowers relocated to Boston Garden, which had become overgrown with plant life and foliage due to the ice of the Hlockey rink melting. Some locals believe the move was due to the chemicals used to treat the turf at Flenway Plark, but this is largely conjecture. When asked the reasoning for the abrupt relocation, coach/player Beck Whitney was quoted as saying "Flenway wouldn't let us grow the grass tall."
The Flowers have become renowned for their tendency towards long, drawn-out games, with players frequently refusing to budge from their bases. Such moments have been dubbed 'picnics' by the fans, though it is unclear whether the players are actually dining on the blaseball diamond. When asked about the nature of the team's slow play, pitcher Dunn Keyes simply extended an invitation to an offseason picnic out in Boston Garden, an overgrown stadium.
Over a five-day stretch in Season 4, from day 54 to day 59, the Flowers were affected by three weather events: two Feedback events and an Incineration. The rapid pace of these tragedies have led some to believe the Flowers have been cursed by the Blaseball Gods. This strained the optimistic attitude of the team. Some insisted it was just a run of bad luck and things would get better; others struggled to see how the team could keep growing after these losses. Captain Beck Whitney threw herself into her work to avoid thinking about the loses, and could only be comforted by her girlfriend Caligula Lotus.
Of note is that the feedback brought both Morrow Doyle, the hitter of The Grand Unslam and Moses Mason, the one at bat when the unslam took effect, to the team. Dunn Keyes has refused to comment on this, despite rumors that they're setting up to cause another Grand Unslam in order to fix Bloston's dimensional distortions.
The Curse continued when on day 98 of Season 4 Morrow Doyle was incinerated. The grief and anger of this event is said to be what caused the idea of Season 4/Game 99 to brew. Having lost 4 players in the span of half a season, The Boston Flowers ended the season 14th in the league overall.
Even after the Postseason The Flowers were not safe. A concerted effort was launched throughout the season to not campaign for the blessings Getting in their Heads (Literally) and Questioning their Every Move by both the team and their fanbase. When the results of the election were posted, The Boston Flowers had won Getting in their Heads, dragging the vibes down for everyone else in the Chaotic Good division. Likewise, Alternate Realities and Exploratory Surgeries left once-star pitcher Dunn Keyes a one star pitcher.
On Day 31 of Season 6, Caligula Lotus was incinerated and almost completely destroyed. While the Flowers were still mourning what happened to Lotus, Feedback swapped captain Beck Whitney with Hahn Fox during a day 80 game against the Miami Dale. While the Flowers welcomed Fox, the Curse did not stop there, as the Flowers were once again not safe even after the Postseason was over. With just 4% of the votes, the Hellmouth Sunbeams were given the blessing Vulture, swapping Hahn Fox for Alaynabella Hollywood just as Fox was settling in with the Flowers.
This loss of two of their most beloved players, and then the most powerful player in their League, was seen by many as further evidence of the Curse, and caused the Flowers to be dubbed "the unluckiest team in Blaseball".
The Boston Tea Party
On Day 76 of Season 7, the Boston Flowers entered Party Time, faster than any other team in blaseball history. In a tradition dating back into forgotten Boston history, the team celebrated by throwing tea into the harbor. The tea-throwing continued until the end of the season, a full 23 days later, with other teams joining in as they too were eliminated from contention. Over the course of party time, 1087.6 tons of tea were thrown into the harbor, turning it into perfectly portioned tea, and making the players really strong.
Boston's plant life quickly adapted to their new teacosystem. Teaweed sprouted, and soon enough the Fenmaids were running a profitable business trading the tea-producing plant for signed blaseballs. The harbor is now constantly full of perfectly flavored tea, providing Bostonians with the refreshing beverage and reminding them of their record-breaking race to the bottom.
At the beginning of Season 8, Caligula Lotus, seeking a way to help her team who had struggled in Season 7, began growing a special flower in the Garden: the Blood Alstroemeria, a rare and magical flower containing the power of growth. However, the Houston Spies eavesdropped on the Flowers discussing their plans for the Alstromeria and launched a covert operation to steal it from the Garden. To foil the Spies' efforts, Lotus and the Groundskeeper had to match their cunning. This season-long struggle for control of the Alstroemeria, known as the Turf War, developed into a friendly rivalry between the Flowers and Spies, and it's said that any Spies infiltrators who were discovered would simply be offered tea and snacks.
The Blood Alstroemeria finally bloomed at the end of Season 8, revealing a large lily whose glossy black petals were marked with silver-green spots in the shape of blood drops. To gain the power offered by the flower, the team drank tea made from its petals. As they enjoyed a quiet tea party celebrating their hard work that season, they started to feel a new sense of connection to one another and to Lotus. Their blood turned green as grass and they developed new plant-related mutations, manifestations of the new power of growth running through their veins.
Boston Garden Is an unusual Blaseball stadium, given that it is absolutely and completely overgrown with plant life and is not operable as a Blaseball stadium whatsoever. Because of this, the Flowers instead practice in Boston Garden, a stadium they call home that is overgrown with plant life. This adaptability is impressive, and truly puts the Flowers on the map as a team who plays Blaseball in Boston Garden (An overgrown stadium).
Plants from the Boston Garden have a history of growing into Blaseball Players when exposed to the ashes of Incinerated players.
After the tragic incineration and subsequent planting of Caligula Lotus at the home dugout of the field in Season 6, it has become apparent that The Boston Garden has allowed Lotus' consciousness to spread throughout the stadium, allowing a connection to every plant present. Ostensibly, it very well could be that Lotus has become The Garden in a way, though Lotus is very much the same loving, gentle, and friendly plant she was while playing Blaseball (if not much, much bigger). Some believe that she may even have the ability to extend her presence throughout the city of Boston itself, allowing her to be anywhere she likes within her home city. Although if this is possible or not, Lotus certainly hasn't said anything about it.
Memorial Bat Forest
Want to add your Team's Players to the Forest? Add them at Boston Flowers/Memorial Bat Forest
When a Blaseball player passes beyond blaseball, whether through retirement, ascension, or incineration, their bat is planted in the forest by The Groundskeeper. The Moss Woman typically crafts bats for new players from the branches of the trees they grow into, though some players prefer to bring their own or request special designs.
While the Memorial Bat Forest started purely to memorialize incinerated Flowers players, after the rapid-fire tragedies of Season Four, the Flowers decided to open the Forest to all teams. While the typical memorial is a planted bat, cultivated into a tree, for players whose bats have been passed on or otherwise lost the Flowers hold an Honorary Planting, where they plant a new flower of the incinerated player's team's choice.
The Weird Flex is planted when it's wielder passes on, but it never sprouts. Instead it waits deep in the forest to be found by the next worthy hitter to carry on its legacy.
The Flowers pride themselves on being friends with every other team in Blaseball. While there are some teams that consider themselves the Flowers' rival, the Flowers do not have any hard feelings towards them. The Flowers are often the last to know about any rivalry or conspiracy, and are always surprised when they do find out about them. In addition to general good feeling and the Memorial Bat Garden, the Flowers have a few ongoing collaborations with other teams.
After games at The Garden, the San Francisco Lovers would stick around to help out with the gardening. As a thank you for their efforts, the Flowers began putting together bouquets. As their relationship grew, the bouquets grew ever more elaborate, and now the Lovers and Flowers often spend the time after their games together putting together complex and beautiful personalized bouquets for the Lovers and their loved ones.
Hellmouth Beautification Project
When a band of wandering gardeners went too far into one of Boston's many dimensional distortions, they found themselves in Hellmouth, Utah. By pure happenstance, a cactus swap was happening at that exact moment and the Blostonians quickly found themselves engaged in a lively discussion with Eugenia Bickle of the Hellmouth Sunbeams about the proper way to care for a succulent. Enraptured by the hostile environment and the potential extremophile plants that could be grown there, they quickly formed plans for a shared gardening experiment. They would set up a greenhouse in the distortion between Boston and Hellmouth where they would work together to custom-make beautiful plants that could survive in Hellmouth's extreme environment. Sure enough, The Hellmouth Beautification Society was born.
When team captain and fan-favorite Beck Whitney was swapped by Feedback to the Miami Dale in exchange for Hahn Fox, it was a tragedy for the team. Coming off the planting of Caligula Lotus, Whitney leaving Boston meant she was leaving her girlfriend behind, and Fox was leaving her wife in Miami. Neither of the players or teams was happy about this trade, and decided to work together to ensure their captains could see their loved ones again.
Through Boston's unique dimensional distortions, a portal was found that connected the city to Miami via the harbor. Cali exerted her pull over the city itself, and with the help of Jasmine Washington they firmed up the portal, making the two cities merely a boat ride away from each other. Now with a much easier commute, Whitney and Fox were able to visit their respective homes as often as they wanted.
Know more about the Flowers' fan culture? Add it at Boston Flowers/Fan Culture!
Unlike most Boston fanbases, The Flowers fandom collectively decided to not uphold the tradition of being awful to their rivals, instead opting to thank them for "watering the garden" and allowing The Flowers to grow from the experience. The fandom is collectively known as "the Garden," and fans refer to each other as "bud."
Chants and Cheers
- LET'S GROW!
- FLOWER (POWER)! FLOWER (POWER)! - Call and response from one side of the stands to the other.
- AW, WEEDS - When things go wrong, as usual.
- IT COULD BE WORSE - A chant for when things aren't going The Flowers' way. Often it is said after laughably unlucky occurrences as a wry and desperate attempt at humor.
- We're The Flowers - Another wry chant, this is used when things really seem to be in the pits, which is often enough for the Flowers that it is said quite regularly.
For Individual Players
- CAS TI YOOO - Castillo Turner
- LIGHT IT UP! - Matheo Carpenter
- BECK BECK GIVE 'EM HECK! - Beck Whitney
- LOCK EM OUT KEYES - Dunn Keyes
- PARTY TIME RUNS ON DUNN KEYES - Dunn Keyes
- LEAD OUR PEOPLE HOME - Moses Mason
- WEATHER IS HAPPENING - King Weatherman
- CHOMP - Gloria Bugsnax
- CLAP FOR ZEB - Zeboriah Wilson
- JUST A GUY - Jacob Haynes
- BUZZ BUZZ or WE BEE-LIEVE - Inez Owens
- NIC?? - Nic Winkler
- NAVA IN DOUBT - Margarito Nava
- Beck Whitney (Player-Manager)
- Orchid Fen (Assistant Manager)
- Nepenthe Saracen (Pitching Coach)
- (Bullpen Catcher)
- Leucosia Smith (Bullpen coach) - notable for her bewitching voice, was hired after being fired at her previous job as a lighthouse keeper; from her position in the bullpen, she calls to fly balls to lure them into becoming home runs
- Roland (First Base) - a giant lobster who mainly can be heard muttering, "I don't think that's a very good idea, Jacob."
- Businessmun Ferret (Third Base) - The team's lawyer and third base coach, promises he can get the team off any charges for stealing bases.
- Sprout (Batboy)
- Dr. Helio Fisic (Team Doctor)
- Farmer Saunders (Head Trainer)
- Moss Woman (Equipment Manager)
- The Groundskeeper (Groundskeeper)
- Jumping Jacks Edwards (Announcer)
- The CITGLO sign (General Manager)
- Zaza Meltdown (Organist) - Chambers Simmons's adopted child
Have more fan art? Add it here or at Boston Flowers/Fan Art!